The perils of nail painting

So, the man ran to the store for a few items I needed for St Patty's Day dinner yesterday. It was just me and Chase.
I decided to pull out the gel polish crap and do my nails, I have an interview today with the CEO of the company.
Now gel nails are a much faster, longer lasting manicure than traditional polish and each layer dries in 30 to 60 seconds when cured under the LED lamp. I get to the base coat layer on the second hand (not even 1/3 of the way into the manicure) and in walks mini me with a hand on his belly and "that face".
Mommy, my belly hurts, I think I have to poop. GREEEAAAT. (How many times does this kid crap a day?!?!)
Well buddy you are either going to learn to wipe yourself today or you are going to sit an extra 7 to 10 minutes when you are done.

We spent a good 5 minutes arguing that he could learn to wipe himself, and him saying no.
So he waits, an extra 8 minutes. I go in to do that which I hate more than almost anything and he asks if my nails are dry and has to touch them to make sure. I do the deed and when he gets up he has the BIGGEST, most RED ring on his ass from the seat.

Is it crazy of me to think at 4 years old, and an ass that smells worse than the other 2 boys I live with combined, he should learn how to wipe his own ass? Is that crazy? Anders is 12 I can not remember when he started doing it himself.

Hopefully at some point before I die, Chase will have to wipe my ass for a while, payback is a bitch.

sort it out

I have no idea what that means. do you? My wise beyond her years sister, did a blog about sorting it out, taking it one task at a time and being realistic about it. Yeaaahhhh I don't understand how to possibly do that.
I can make a list of what needs to be done, what has to be done, what I would like to get done etc. It would be as big as Webster's 8,000 edition. I should just put this on my list:
Make kim make my list and then do it
ha ha ha ha ha ha

I love you A$$hole

is what my 2 1/2 year old said to me the other day. I said what did you just say? He repeated it. I said please don't say that word it's BAAAAAD. I hear him telling the dogs to stop biting asshole. Um do I do that? often? apparently I do. My man says yeah you're awful and he totally learned it from you. Not 4 hours later did he yell at one of the dogs incessant barking outside "Knock it off asshole"...I said um yeah, it's just me..."

So we have once again implemented a "curse jar" normal everyday not as offensive curses are change, whatever change you have in your pockets will do. The F bomb that's a dollar...I'm gonna be f*cking broke in a month, just sayin.